Archive for the 'cleaner of all things gross' Category

And now we bring you

More on the saga of our house for sale.  It is now month number 9.  Hey perhaps this will be like pregnancy but instead of giving birth to a child, we will sell our house!!  God willing.  We managed to survive Christmas and New Year with the house ready for any Tom, Dick, or Harry to come tramping through.  I somehow kept the house looking like a show piece despite the massive amounts of wrapping paper, ribbons, tie wraps, plastic packaging, and loads of new toys.  The day after Christmas our house looked like it had vomited colored bows, torn bits of paper, and random utensils and plates from the 1,000 piece Tea set my evil  wonderful sister got Pumpkin for a gift.  Ordinarily, it would have taken me weeks to get that mess cleaned up.  This year, I didn’t have weeks, I had a ~as in ONE~ day to get it back to Open House status. 

Believe it or not, there was actually a call from a realtor who wanted to show the house the day after Christmas.  I suppose we could have said no.  But we are trying to sell the house.  So we got it ready for them…  Yeah… they didn’t show up.  Big *f-in* surpriseGggrrrr.   

I have just finally agreed with the Husband to stop obsessively cleaning the house on the “possibility” that someone might be coming by to view the house.  Yes, it’s been 9 months and I am so incredibly tired of the constant cleaning.  So we decided that we would bring the lockbox in the house & make all agents call to schedule an appointment before they just show up with their clients.  One agent actually called & said, “we’re outside your house, can you come up and let us in?”  Hmmm, let me think about that…. “No”.  For goodness sake, make an appointment and give us a little tiny bit of notice.  That way the house looks presentable for you, not as if a twister had just blown through.  So no, a minute notice is not enough, but perhaps a days notice??!!  Or at the very least a half an hour notice?

Basically, moving the lock box inside frees me up tremendously.  It means that I don’t have to flip out over every toy Pumpkin drags out of her room to play with in the morning, cause I DON’T HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP BEFORE I leave the house!!  I don’t have to make three beds before I leave the house!  I don’t have to wash every dish before I leave the house!!  You have no idea what a relief it is.  Plus, I’m not constantly yelling at the children not to make a mess.  This is better for my mommy self-image, my mental health, and the gremlins mental health.  And you know, when you really think about, what I consider a mess, to them is just being creative children at play having fun. 

So we came to the conclussion, after reviewing data on the market and discussing the absolute least amount we could accept ~and still have money left for a downpayment on a new house~ that we should reduce the sale price.  This is the second time that we are dropping the price.  Believe me when I say that it makes me want to be sick when I think about how much money we are potentially leaving with this house.  I don’t want to go into the details since I don’t feel up for vomitting right now… suffice it to say that we will barely have enough left to make a minimum downpayment on another house.  And the housing prices here are still ridiculously high even on a simple single family home.  I try not to think about this overly much since it’s fairly depressing.  It is what it is.  I just need to learn to deal with the reality of the situation as it is now.  However, on the upside, once we reduced the price we had about 150 views per day of the virtual tour which was up by almost 100 pre-reduction.  More traffic viewing the house means more chances of the house selling.


So, yesterday we had two agents bring their clients over to see the house.  One agent was bringing the second half of a couple to view.  This could be promising.  If the wife saw the house first and now wants her husband to see the house, then we might have a potential offer.  However, if it was the husband that saw the house first and now wants his wife to see it, then it probably won’t go anywhere.  Reason being, the wife almost always makes the decision about which house they will live in… think about it, you know this is true.  The husband may set the price limit but the wife will ultimately decide which house will be most comfortable for her family.  The other agent has never been out to the house before so his clients are really a long shot.  I sent all the info to our agent last night for him to follow-up.  We shall see if anything comes of this.  I try not to get my hopes up since it has been so long already without any offers.  I’m just going with the flow, what will be will be, and all those other corny expressions.

Enough for now,




We got a call from a realtor at 10:00am that they wanted to show the house to their client sometime between 11-1:00pm.  Yay!  This is actually the 5th client that has wanted to see the house in less than two weeks.  Believe me when I say that I am thrilled by this development.  So I left work, rushed up to the house, and set about making sure it was in show condition.  As in, all the lights were on, all the toys were put away, no dishes laying around, clean the deck of the 10 BILLION acorns and leaves (this is in no way an exaggeration ~ the oak tree must be in the neighborhood of 100 yrs old because it produces the HUGEST acorns), etc. 
(Writer’s note: Since beginning this post I have come to learn that we are not the only one’s with the acorn problem. You can read more about it here if you are curious. Fascinating stuff, riveting some might say.)

I had put all the lights on and was in the middle of clearing the deck when the husband calls to tell me that the realtor cancelled for today and they want to come tomorrow instead!  AAAAAAHHHHH!  Excuse me??!  No you may not come tomorrow, you are coming over now like you said.  I’m not doing all this work for nothing!!!  I had the deck about 75% cleaned by that point.  Geez!  All right, lets go back through the whole house to turn of all the lights.

Back to the office I go…. once I get settled in GUESS what happens.  GUESS, go ahead, GUESS.  I bet you can figure it out… someone else called to say they’d like to look at the house today, between 2:30-3:30pm.  Well, at least on the bright side, all the cleanup I did on the deck didn’t go to waste.


Ok, I stated this post on Tues. and now it’s Thurs.  The people that were scheduled to come through between 2:30-3:30pm may or may not have actually come over.  They didn’t leave a card so we have no real way of knowing.  I think that is incredibly rude.  Is it just me?  LEAVE A DAMN CARD!  Or call and tell us that you aren’t coming over!!!  We left lights on all over the house so that it shows well and they didn’t have the courtesy to show-up.  We aren’t PG&E!  Grrrrrrr.  On top of this, the original people that were scheduled for Wed. between 11-1:00pm called at 3:00pm to tell us that they weren’t coming after all but could they reschedule for Thurs. between 12-2pm?  WTF????  Are you kidding me right now?  Why not, we have nothing better to do than leave all the lights on ALL DAY long.


Ok, so now it’s Fri. and this is the longest it has taken me to write one simple post!!  All right, where was I?  Oh, yes, the people that rescheduled for Thurs. 12-2pm didn’t actually show up sometime between 2:30-4:30pm.  I know this because I stopped by the house after 2:00pm to turn off all the lights.  You know, figuring that the people would have already come by at their scheduled time, but NOOOOO, they hadn’t been there yet ~no card.  Decided to leave the lights on just in case they were running late.  Sure enough when we got home at 5:00pm, there was a card there from the realtor. 

We notified our agent so he could follow up.  But get this, the agent that showed our house represents PRO ATHLETES!  And she showed the house to a PRO-FOOTBALLER!!  How cool is that???!  Unfortunately, though it’s highly unlikely that he will make us an offer that we want, apparently this guy likes to low-ball people.  Which, in our situation, just won’t do.  But he did say that our house was on the top of his list so far….

OMG!!! We just received word from our agent that someone wants to present an offer on the house tomorrow night!!!!! 


Continuing on with the longest post in history….  Here is some new ridiculousness to add to the story… it’s now Sat. night and at about 1:00pm this afternoon we got a call from our agent saying that he spoke with the other people’s agent.  Apparently there was a falling out between the two.  The client & agent wrote up the offer without indicating an offer price.  So the agent said, if you want me to present the offer tonight, then you need to tell me what your offer price is.  And this is in no way a joke, the client says I want to offer $X million.  I’ll just tell you that it was $700,000.00 LESS than what we are asking.  The agent says, I am not going to present that offer to the sellers.  (Hey, someone with a brain.)  Cause, frankly, if they had tried to present that to us, we would have laughed in their faces. 

We owe more to the bank than what the offer was, we certainly couldn’t accept the offer.  In addition, this house & property is WORTH WAY MORE THAN THAT!  Grrrrrr. The house itself is 4,000sq ft.  On 5 acres of land.  4 bdrms, 4 & 1/2 baths, plus an office.  It is gated.  It is private.  It has views of the valley that are unparalled.  The garage alone is over 1,000sq ft.  So COME ON lady, what can you be thinking???!!  Not too mention, we’ve got to have some money left over to buy a new house. 

Well, the client didn’t like the agent telling her that she wouldn’t present that LOW of an offer so she told her that she would find another agent. 

We’re a little sad.  Not about that dumb lady & her agent.  But about the fact that we don’t have an offer on the house.  We were really hoping this would be it!  Alas, it was not to be.

I think that is enough for now (I’ll be sure to bore you with more details as they arrive),


P.S. YAY, I finally did it!  I finished the longest post in history!

Sometimes I wish…

That I only needed 5 4 3 hrs of sleep per night.  Oh, and I would be completely refreshed, ready to take on whatever the day had in store.  If this wish were to come true, I would have enough time to do everything that I wanted to do.  I was contemplating this, the other night, as I was falling asleep.  I had so wanted to spend more time writing but I knew that I needed to get to bed at a decent hour ~ decent hour being something like 11:00pm ~ and how this would be absolutely necessary for me to have enough energy for the next day (or everyday for that matter).  I am perpetually facing this limitation, not enough hours in the day….  Certainly I’m not the only one that feels this way.  But we’re not talking about them, we’re talking about me.  So, there. 

Now, if I only needed 5 4 3 hrs to rest each night, then I would be able to do the following (in no particular order):

  • read,
  • watch t.v.,
  • exercise,
  • listen to music,
  • check my emails,
  • travel,
  • read blogs,
  • scrapbook,
  • volunteer,
  • write blogs,
  • chat with friends,
  • mess with myspace,
  • talk to my husband ~in more words than “ah uh, yeah, ok, whatever, no, did you, sure”.  I would love to speak in whole sentences about important world topics or our life & future together or our children, 
  • write more of my book,
  • journal,
  • give blood,
  • play /read with my children,
  • and so on. 

Not having 21 hrs to do all of the above (and more) means that I have to be really selective.  No time wasting for me.  And even still I have to choose wisely between what has to be done & what I want to do.  It just doesn’t add up.  If only I could be selfish and do the things I want to do.  I would say “screw you” to all the work, chores, homework (now that we have started back to school) and other responsibilities that must come before the fun stuff.  I suppose if I had the extra time, then I wouldn’t have to say “screw you”, I could just do everything!

So, I’ll say it again, sometimes I wish that I only needed 3 hrs of sleep.  Imagine all the wonderful things that I would be able to do!  Aaahhhh, what a delightful thought.

Enough for now (cause I have to go to bed),


We’re moving, again. (part 2)

We have put our house up for sale and it’s been on the market for roughly one week.  Our Realtor held an open house this past weekend.  There was a really good turn out with a number of potentials.  In fact, one couple is coming back tonight to see the house.  We are hoping they make an offer.  Frankly, the sooner this is over the happier I will be.  You see, we had the house “staged” by a professional interior designer.  Which means that we are renting all the things he brought in to make the house look like a show piece.  Yes, the house does look FABULOUS.  It was kinda like walking onto one of those reality shows where the family goes away & when they come back the house is totally re-done. 

This would be all well and good if we didn’t have children.  But we do.  And keeping the house looking like a photo shoot from Architectural Digest is really, really taking a toll on me & the girls.  It has only been one week and I am already sick to death of saying, “put that down!” or “we can’t play with that”, or “that doesn’t belong to us!”.  What has probably been the hardest thing to deal with, ridiculous though it may sound, is keeping the kitchen chair pads clean!  We have a two year old!  PLEASE!  She spills food and drinks on EVERYTHING!  I’ve tried putting towels on top of the chair pad to alleviate the stains from spills but then she throws a tantrum because she doesn’t like the towel there.

You may be asking, why don’t you just take off the chair pad?!  Well, see, we have metal chairs with a sort of lattice seat.  They are surprisingly comfortable if you are sitting on your bottom.  But (not Butt) the 2 yr old can’t reach the table if she sits that way so she kneels on the chair.  Kneeling on a metal lattice seat is not at all comfortable for little 2 yr old knees or knees of any age.  So that explains ~I think~ why I won’t take the chair pad off.

Now, I have been keeping the house *spotless* so that at a moments notice or no notice anyone could tour the house.  This is incredibly challenging.  I am constantly picking up papers or socks & shoes or tissues or dishes left scattered about.  I was doing these same things before, however, the difference now is that I have to do it about 500 times per day. 

I let a lot of things slide when I’m not worried about how immaculate the house needed to look at every second of the day.  Dishes were left by the sink (I still don’t understand why the husband can’t put them IN the sink & I’ll save that discussion for another day), dishes left in the sink (by me), dishes left in the dishwasher (again by me).  I always got to them… eventually.  Generally before they got too stinky.  Extra shoes and socks left in the living room or lying about on the floor in the girl’s rooms.  There was never any real reason to pick these things up continuously, at some point or another they would all be cleaned or put away.

Having to make my bed every day, having to make the girls beds every day!  BLAH!  I can hardly stand it.  I’m not usually a total neat freak so this much effort on a daily basis is driving me nuts.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a slob either, I just don’t see the point in making my bed EVERY DAY.  Or having to do the dishes the very minute that they have been used.  What an absurd waste of time.  How does that saying go?  A clean house is the sign of a misspent life.  I couldn’t agree more!

Oh, yeah, neglected to communicate this little tidbit.  We had to take down the 62 in. flat panel T.V. and entertainment center in our family room AND the 37 in. flat panel in our bedroom.  The whole family has been watching the incy wincy 13in T.V. that was the 2 yr olds.  Do you have any idea what it’s like to have to watch Elmo or Strawberry shortcake for the 1,000th time because the only thing the t.v. will play are videos and all the other videos have been boxed and stored & we have no cable?!!    

Honestly, I don’t even want to be here.  If we aren’t here, then we can’t mess it up.  And I won’t have to watch the same dang video AGAIN.  I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with places to go or things to do that will keep us out of the house.  We’ve eaten dinner out 5 of the last 7 days.  It’s getting unbelievably expensive.  Right, I forgot to mention that as part of the “staging” we have to leave *all* the lights on in *all* rooms of the house.  I DO NOT want to see what our PG&E bill will be next month.  And I’m begging, pleading, whining to whomever is in charge, PLEASE let this be over soon. 

Once we have an offer that we’ve accepted, we can go back to our slightly piggish ways.  I won’t have to constantly nag the girls about touching stuff, I won’t have to repeatedly clean all rooms of the house, I won’t have to wash all dishes the instant we are done with them.  We’ll be able to live in the house again, if only temporarily.  Then it will all be a matter of finding our new house, boxing the rest of our things, and moving in to the newest *S* residence!  HA!  Let me say that I am hoping it’s as easy as that.

Enough for now,


The laundry battle

All right, so I’m back on the topic of clothes.  I’m a woman, I have the right to discuss clothes ad nauseam.  Yesterday, I finally, finally, finally(!) finished all loads of laundry that have been building/multiplying under our roof (more specifically in the laundry room) for the last two weeks.  Finished by definition, for this post, means that I washed, dried, folded, AND put away all clothes.  I am supremely impressed with myself. 

There are four people that contribute to the pile-up, I have include myself in this count because I wear a lot of different outfits per week (at least 7 anyway), I should count baby as two people since she always manages to spill food or drink on two or more outfits per day.  Our older daughter is at the point where I don’t have to use a spray on pre-wash treatment over every inch of her clothing, so her load of clothes are now much less cumbersome.  The husband will re-wear jeans and sweatshirts until I forcibly take them off of him to put into the laundry, so I can only partially count him.  Oh, yeah, I failed to include bath towels, hand towels from the kitchen/bathrooms, wash cloths, and sheets from all beds in the pile-up count.

Part of the reason I am so thrilled to be finished, and yes I know I will have more to do next weekend, is that having all those clothes piled up like leaves on a lawn in Fall, was adding to my overall stress level.  You probably know what I mean.  Many little things adding up to big things.  When taken on an individual basis each little things is nothing really, but when you start compounding the little things it becomes big.  So that is a partial explanation of the reduction of this stressor in my life.  It ultimately boils down to procrastination.  I continually said to myself, ‘Oh, I’ll fold and put those things away on “another day”.  Eventually “another day” equaled two weeks.   Well, yesterday was the end of the “another day” stall tactic.

As I was putting away the nicely washed, dried, and folded clothes I could feel the weight slowly lift off my shoulders.  Aahhhh, what a relief that these clothes won’t be sitting in a big pile on the counter of the laundry room, in the laundry basket, and in the dryer.  It was like everytime I looked at them (the piles) they were begging me to be put away and then sighing sadly when I walked away.  Ok, maybe that was me silently begging myself to put the damn clothes away and then sighing sadly when I just walked away, but who can say for sure? 

Anyway!  So I’m hanging the baby’s clothes in her closet and I am thinking that she is already highly opinionated.  The other day she actually told me, in her little squeaky toddler voice, ‘no, mommy, you no wear!’ as she was wildly waving her chubby finger at me.  Imagine the nerve!  Barely two years old and already telling me what not to wear.  I thought that didn’t start happening until the buggers were in their teens or at least tweens.  Not to mention the fact that I actually have good taste, NO really, I do have good taste.  I know it has been said that not everyone who believes they have good taste actually do, but I DO.  Have I convinced you all now?  Moving on… I asked her why I shouldn’t wear what I already had on and she repeated her sentiment.  I told her that it was just too bad for her, I wasn’t changing my outfit, and that was final.  Wow, I succeeded in standing my ground.  Nice, I’m growing.  OK, back to the story, last weekend she spilled juice on her pants (surprise, surprise) and my husband’s aunt took her to get changed.  When the aunt tried to put on a particular pair of pants, she was told quite seriously, by my oh so stylish toddler, that she had to change her shirt too because the clothes now didn’t match!  I think this is a laugh riot and I think about how different two children can be.  My older daughter never complained about which clothes I selected for her (or myself for that matter) and still to this day is pretty much content with me setting up outfits for her to wear.  Oh, well, chalk it up to personality. 

Now, to wrap up my rambling, I am happy to report that the laundry battle has been won by me.  In the future, I promise myself that I will do everything in my power to finish all laundry on a timely basis so that no battle will be waged again.  HA!  Who am I kidding?!  There will be some thing that will come up next weekend that will prevent me from finishing it all before the weekends out.  Like the poker game we are having on Saturday night!

That’s enough for now,


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